Feeding the Soil
Shining our light (sounds cheesy, but it's profound)
Hi, Friend!
One of the things I found to be the most profound during our Year-Around-the-World trip was coming into contact with so many different people who were shining their light in the world.
It’s such a cheesy concept, and yet it’s the closest I can get to answering this question: What is the purpose of life? Why are we here? What should be the guiding imperative of our one wild and precious life?
For me, it’s the intersection of leaning into our unique strengths, our unique joys, and our unique ways of living in community with and contributing to those around us. (And as artificial intelligence makes it way into our lives, I’m reminded that it’s not just our “unique” strengths/joys/connections/contributions but also our common human ways of showing up with strength, joy, connection, and contribution in the world).
There is so much I could say about our family cultural immersion trip to Guatemala (I’ve stopped calling it a “retreat”). The thing that rises to the top of my mind is the opportunity to embed myself in the life of a family that is truly shining their light in the world.
Christina and Owen—you can watch more of their story here—felt deep in their bones that there was something more authentic, more joyful, and more soulful than the conventional life they were living in Canada. So they moved their five children to Guatemala with only $2,000 to their names.
They did not have a grand plan or an easy path, but they seemed to live each day by leaning into their strengths, their joys, their community, and how they could contribute to and work in partnership with the people around them. They started an afterschool club to help provide a high-quality meal for children while engaging those children in meaningful service to their neighborhood (specifically by picking up trash).
Their small steps paved the path to a flourishing, ethical business—one that invests in the local community, honors tradition and culture, and proves that entrepreneurship can be mutually beneficial and symbiotic rather than parasitic.
And their children are thriving. Their oldest sons (15 and 12) participate wholeheartedly in running the business. They cook breakfast and coordinate rides with the tuk-tuk drivers and help drive the boats. They seem to have a deep sense of self-esteem and a healthy self-concept that comes from taking on real tasks and doing them with independence and quality that is appreciated by people beyond your parents.
Their younger sisters demonstrate the same strong sense of connection to themselves and those around them. They happily attend the weekly soccer match that their dad coordinates in the local community—playing hide-and-seek with the local children and carrying around the toddlers.
And the best part is that I can look at their flourishing family life and say, “Although I have a profound admiration for what they are doing and have done, I can see that their path to flourishing is not the same path for my family.”
So what is the path of flourishing for my family? Our gap year was definitely part of that path. Our pool and trampoline and slumber parties with friends and volunteering with Tate and running our Saturday Cafe and our regular Saturday Suppers with neighbors and friends and our summers spent exploring new cities are all part of the path.
The tricky thing about finding a Path to Family Flourishing is that many of us are working with a family or origin (not a family of choice), and we are likely a conglomeration of different personalities and strengths and interests.
And yet that’s the beauty of it. Because the Path to Family Flourishing isn’t even about the big things you do or do not accomplish; it’s what it feels like to live in your life.
There are times when I feel like I’m “locking in” (as my kids say) too hard into accomplishing something big as a family at the expense of what it feels like to live in our family. For example, there are times when I get snippy with my family when they are less than helpful while getting ready for a Saturday Supper. But the whole point of a Saturday Supper is joy. And it’s an opportunity for my children to live alongside me to help create the joyful experience. But even that should feel joyful and connected.
So what I’m taking away from this experience is:
I want to keep working alongside my family to carve out our unique path of flourishing. What brings us joy and a deep sense of contribution as a family, not just as individuals?
I want to keep inviting my children to live alongside the adults in their lives—not just be shuttled around to various activities or micromanaged by those adults.
I want to stay focused on comparing ourselves to ourselves and not anyone else. Comparison should serve as inspiration and fodder for introspection—not steal away our joy.
I want to keep observing and leaning into my relationships with my children in order to generate our next steps.
This Week’s Random Tidbits
Idea that is Blowing My Mind: Jen Hatmaker’s Me Camp. How have I not heard of it sooner?
Free Online Course that Looks Great: